So I'll bite my tongue till it bleeds and I doubt you'll even notice [entries|friends|calendar] I know you well enough to know you never loved me [ userinfo | livejournal userinfo ] [ calendar | livejournal calendar ]

[Sunday Apr 3rd 2005 12:08am ] I can't imagine all the people that you know and the places that you go When the lights are turned down low and I don't understand all the things you've seen but I'm slipping in between You and your big dreams It's always you In my big dreams And you tell me that its over wake up lying in a patch of four leaf clovers and your restless and im naked you gotta get out you cant stand to see me shakin no could u let me go? i didnt think so and youi dont wanna be here in the future so you say the presants just a pleasant interuption to the past and you dont wanna look much closer cause ur afriad to find out all this hope you had sent into the sky by now had crashed and it did because of me and then you bring me home afraid to find out that your alone oh and im sleeping in your living room but we dont have much room to live and i had these dreams in them i learned to play guitar maybe cross the country become a rock star and there was hope in me that I could take you there but damnit you're so young well i dont think i care and if i hurt you then im sorry please dont think that this was easy and then you bring me home cause we both know what its like to be alone oh and im dreaming in your living room but we dont have much room to live and konstantine is walking down the stairs doesnt she look good standing in her underware and i was thinking what i was thinkin we've been drinkin and it doesnt get me anywhere my konstantine came walking down the stairs and all that i could do was touch her long blond hair and ive been thinkin but it hurts me thinking that these nights when we were drinking no they never got us anywhere no this is because i can spell confusion with a 'K' and i can like it its to dying in anothers arms and why i had to try it its to jimmy eat world and those nights in my car when the first star you see may not be a star im not your star isnt that what you said what you thought this song meant and if this is what it takes just to lye with my mistakes and live with what i did to you all the hell i put you through i always catch the clock its 11:11 now you wanna talk its not hard to dream you'll always be my konstantine my konstantine they'll never hurt you like i do no they'll never hurt you like i do no,no,no, no, no, no, no, no this is to a girl who got into my head with all the pretty things she did hey ya know you keep me up in bed this is to a girl who got into my head with all these fucked up things i did hey maybe baby you could keep me up in bed my konstanine you spin around me like a dream we played out on this movie screen and i said did u know i missed you(x7) i miss you and then you bring me home and we go to sleep but this time not alone and i know and you'll kiss me in your living room i know i know you miss me in your living room cuz these nights i think maybe that i miss you in my living room but we dont have much room i said does anybody need that room because we all need a little more room to live my konstantine... To prove I can survive, Without you.

my day [Monday Dec 27th 2004 10:13pm ] [ mood | happy ] [ music | exit to exit ] ok so here's wat i did today: slept till 11 cuz i stayed up till like 2 umm then went online and talked to mike <3 on the phone like 45 minutes :) i love u and i'm not mad anymore<333333 holyoke mall w/ my family till 5:30 i saw abby <3, katie <3, and veronica <3(marco nese's sister) i got 3 shirts,lipgloss,and stuff from victoria's secret ;) came home to drop off stuff ...then eastfield mall w/ my rents n my sis 2 c meet the fockers....ummmm it was ok i guess....i saw cam sady,emilee <3, and kristen <3 then got home round 9 i think i'm going to the mall tomorrow so if u wanna come with... call me.... haha i still wanna get GREEN converse n the greenday cd.....n idk wat im gonna do w/ the rest of my $ that i got 4 xmas <3 chels <3 5 Got a single Silver Bullet, Shot right through my heart. To prove I can survive, Without you.

recap on my christmas [Sunday Dec 26th 2004 6:15pm ] [ mood | MissingHimIfImNotKissingHim ] [ music | come home soon ] recap on my christmas vacation so far: thursday- last day of school b4 a holiday always seems to last 4ever!!!! i was suppose to go to the mall that night w/ katie but that never happened....n i was sad :( cuz martine,ally,mike,alex,n skippy went n i miss them n i wanted to c them...but o well....hopefully i'll run into them @ the mall sumtime over break......so instead i watch reruns of the O.C. from 8 till 10 then went 2 bed Friday- christmas eve...umm finished wrapping gifts.... noon- opened gifts from my sister n brother...i got the jesse mccartney cd n a hoodie from american eagle :) then chruch @ 4... my brother drove so it took 4ever n there were no seats left so we went into another room n watched the mass on tv! then got home round 5.... umm around 5:30 my moms side of the family came over n we celebrated n i got sum more gifts....a christmas story was on for 24 hours straight so we watched that...n then i explained what i would do if my tounge ever got stuck to a pole to one of my cousins...lol....and then i told her how my mom thinks that i'm on drugs cuz my pupils r always dialated...lol.....no1 left till midnight....so my sister slept in my room on the floor n my mom said goodnight tonight n tripped leaving my room n almost went into the wall....lol......me n my sis stayed up till 1 n i was crying cuz i miss.... *him* :(  but then came up with a plan ;) saturday- my brother(whose 16) jumped on my bed to wake me up @ 7:04??? umm opened presents...i got clothes and THE STEVE MADDEN SHOES I WANTED! i also got the ryan cabrera cd (which is rele good)n a bunch of other stuff..... then had breakfast @ 9:30...yum...then hung around the house till 3 then went to my aunt n uncles to celebrate w/ my dads side of the family...there were 30 people there...all of them are either aunts,uncles,or 1st cousins...yea i have a big family...i got more presents...then we did the yankee swap...fun....then @ 8 went to my aunt n uncles(my moms side) n stayed till like 11...... sunday- umm did nothing...... hung around my house all day...my sister burned me 2 cds...i watched the ending of never been kissed...good movie...n thats it so far i'm suppose to go to the holyoke mall tomorrow! so i'm happy but we're suppose 2 get a snow storm tonight :( so i hope the roads aren't 2 bad....:-/ hit up the comments <3 luv u chels <3 4 Got a single Silver Bullet, Shot right through my heart. To prove I can survive, Without you.

what i think about when i'm in school [Thursday Dec 23rd 2004 5:59pm ] [ mood | blah ] [ music | tipsy- J-kwon ] this is all i think about while i'm in school...... I can't wait till I get home To pass the time in my room alone <3333 To prove I can survive, Without you.

[Tuesday Dec 21st 2004 3:35pm ] To prove I can survive, Without you.

SnOw DaY!!! [Monday Dec 20th 2004 11:18am ] [ mood | sNoW dAy!!! ] [ music | sympathy ] SnOw DaY!!!! umm i'm pretty bored....probably not gonna do much today....dawson's creek is on from 10 to 12 so i'll watch that ......and i still need to wrap EVERYTHING so i'll do that 4 a lil bit i guess...n i'll probably go on aim....call me..... or im me on piecesofme1229.... so im listening to music n now i got it stuck in my head.... Sympathy by the goo goo dolls... Stranger than your sympathy And this is my apology I killed myself from the inside out And all my fears have pushed you out And I wished for things that I don’t need (all I wanted) And what I chased won’t set me free (all I wanted) And I get scared but I’m not crawlin’ on my knees Oh, yeah Everything’s all wrong, yeah Everything’s all wrong, yeah Where the hell did I think I was? And stranger than your sympathy Take these things, so I don’t feel I’m killing myself from the inside out And now my head’s been filled with doubt We’re taught to lead the life you choose (all I wanted) You know your love’s run out on you (all I wanted) And you can’t see when all your dreams aren’t coming true Oh, yeah It’s easy to forget, yeah When you choke on the regrets, yeah Who the hell did I think I was? And stranger than your sympathy And all these thoughts you stole from me And I’m not sure where I belong And no where’s home and no more wrong And I was in love with things I tried to make you believe I was And I wouldn’t be the one to kneel before the dreams I wanted And all the dark and all the lies were all the empty things disguised as me Mmm, yeah Stranger than your sympathy Stranger than your sympathy Mmm hmmm mmm 3 Got a single Silver Bullet, Shot right through my heart. To prove I can survive, Without you.

update on my weekend [Sunday Dec 19th 2004 5:58pm ] [ mood | crappy ] [ music | sympathy-goo goo dolls ] ummm school last week was boring.... Friday- DANCE TEAM PARTY!ummm that was lots of fun....we watched the grinch n did secret santa n ate candy....i spent a lot of my time talking to amanda :) ilu good luck w/ u kno who!!! ummm we got our warm ups :)))))))) so we're all wearing them tomorrow!!! came home @ 11 n stayed up till 2 Saturday- went to the mall w/ christina...fun! stayed there till 2:30.....finished christmas shopping...i got this cool necklace 4 myself lol...now i have 2 wrap everything....that night i went to church then babysat n watched degrassi...hmmm then came home n went 2 bed @ like 1 Sunday- nothing hung around the house listening to christmas carols n watched christmas movies....then my cousins came over to make christmas cookies...yumm...n we had pizza... that's all i did rele... To prove I can survive, Without you.

and i know what it's like to want somone you can't have.... [Sunday Dec 19th 2004 5:45pm ] [ mood | it's not easy forgetting you ] [ music | sympathy-goo goo dolls ] i know i think of you at least 3 times a day and it hurts knowing that i never even cross your mind i'm all cried out over you you don't even care so why am i still wasteing my time on you? there's no point i'm giving up and i'm letting you go But even though i'm moving on i'll never forget you..... <3 chels <3 To prove I can survive, Without you.

convo w/ becca [Sunday Dec 19th 2004 2:41pm ] [ mood | bouncy ] [ music | shake it like a salt shaker ] Rac4gnc: i cnat believe that Rac4gnc: its so stupid Rac4gnc: y would they do that Piecesofme1229: idk Piecesofme1229: they all started again Piecesofme1229: :-( Rac4gnc: i think im gunna shoot them Rac4gnc: like chickens Rac4gnc: one by one Piecesofme1229: lol Rac4gnc: with spit balls Piecesofme1229: lmao Rac4gnc: then ill stab them wiht a sharpened spoon Rac4gnc: then ill throw a few bowling balls at them Rac4gnc: then maybe....theyll get the point Rac4gnc: if not then im afraid were goin to have to resprt to setting them all on fire Rac4gnc: Rac4gnc: im so violent Rac4gnc: like that website with the squirell and stuff lol Piecesofme1229: lmao To prove I can survive, Without you.

inside myself [Saturday Dec 18th 2004 2:21pm ] [ mood | don't want the world to see me ] [ music | none ] So I lie inside myself for hours on end thinking about what could’ve been...... i'll update more later.... <3 chels <3 To prove I can survive, Without you.

this is a quiz i took [Saturday Dec 18th 2004 1:07am ] [ mood | it's like 1 in the morning ] [ music | greenday ] What does your birth month reveal about you? My Results: February Abstract thoughts. Loves reality and abstract. Intelligent and clever. Changing personality. Attractive. Sexy. Temperamental. Quiet, shy and humble. Honest and loyal. Determined to reach goals. Loves freedom. Rebellious when restricted. Loves aggressiveness. Too sensitive and easily hurt. Gets angry really easily but does not show it. Dislike unnecessary things. Loves making friends but rarely shows it. Daring and stubborn. Ambitious. Realizing dreams and hopes. Sharp. Loves entertainment and leisure. Romantic on the inside not outside. Superstitious and ludicrous. Spendthrift. Tries to learn to show emotions. haha ....ludicrous...i love that word......<3333 most of this sounds nothing like me.....so i put everything in bold letters that does sound like me.... n i underlined n e thing that is deffinately not me....and n ething that is bold and underlined is deffinately me umm comment if u think this sounds like me..... To prove I can survive, Without you.

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